I digress………

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.


I believe there may be very real enlightened persons, mystics, etc. that may have a clue about tomorrow, but I don’t.

I am like an ant, burrowing, carrying, following, content in my habitat, believing it will happen again and again.

But really, I have no clue if I will even be on Earth tomorrow.

Because of that I wonder, should I take more risks or less?

If I believe in Heaven, and a very mean, ogre or troll like God under the bridge, will it keep me on the straight and narrow?

Or is it enough for me to know who I want to be and who I don’t? Without the fear of an all powerful, vengeful God?

I have to admit, I have always thought God is all good, and in being all good, he could not be vengeful or judgmental. He could not issue empty threats. Only man does that for his own means. No gender discrimination intended, I am of a certain age and background where I learned God is “he”; consequently, my language patterns naturally fall back on this preconceived notion. I now believe God can be anything.

So, where am I going? What stones do I intend to step on in this meandering path of life with few markers or sign posts?

I talk about not knowing if I will be here tomorrow. When does tomorrow begin? Is it after midnight? Is it the next moment which transcends the moment of this thought?

I heard today of two children, thirteen year olds, fit, athletic kids, loving families, diagnosed with leukemia. It broke my heart.

I thought again, hours later, of how I believe negative energy and a lack of cleansing creates physical disintegration and I realized, I cannot believe that is true for our children.

To believe that negative energy leads to sickness connotes that there is a responsibility to think positively, to clear out and unburden the negative….how does this apply to the young?

Are there theories of Soul DNA or Soul Karma, something carried over? If so, why should it be that the young of this Earth should be so burdened to undo what many of us adults cannot?

I struggle looking for the book of Truth. The one book. I amass uncontroverted facts, ones tested and true, time and again, which remain true despite the tests, to compile what someday may be my personal book of Universal Truth. The pages are more empty than full.

Is that because I am pessimistic? Maybe. It is also though because I have not been able to amass enough signposts on this road of life and continue to wonder, after so many centuries, why have we not handed down to each other the true “Bible”, the Bible of Humanity, well being, love and life?


2 thoughts on “I digress………

  1. Great post surfaceearth! I too have been asking these questions. If God is supposed to be all good and non vengeful, why is there so much suffering, especially among children? Why must children suffer abuse? Why must they suffer diseases? Is there a reincarnation that makes us suffer past life mistakes? but if the answer to that is yes, then God is indeed vengeful, right? Too many questions, so little answers.

  2. You hit it…where are the answers? I’m convinced they are out there, but scratch my head wondering where…I feel as if dropped into another country and not knowing any of the language and customs…feeling your way through looking for signs.

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