Thank you Mystery.
Reading Mystery’s post moments ago sent me on a trip through the cobwebbed sections of my memory, years and years ago, a hot day, marching in D.C.
The rally call, “I am woman, hear me roar”.
I never, ever signed a Declaration of Rights on behalf of myself testifying that I was 50% or 3/4 of a man.
I have lived and have grown with perceptions given to me, that I incorporated into SELF, to define myself. And somewhere along the way I forgot it was not ME, it was the ME given to me.
I had an incident today with a treasured loved one, who was upset I did not see things their way. Not only not see things, but I refused to give back the words they wanted to hear. I heard Romancing the Crone, her That’s Not Ok, but darn it, the words didn’t come out of my mouth. I couldn’t get out the three simple words.
Rather, I was forced to look at the trees and say, Amma, God, someone, give me the words, because I truly don’t want to hurt this person, but I can’t transgress myself, I can’t transgress the part of myself that is attuned to the whole, that to know that to indict another, the subject of the conversation by silence or words, would be to transgress myself.
In that moment, there was no difference.
If I gave in to the bad talk, the gossip, the judgment, just to make one who is insecure and vulnerable, feel allied, then I would hurt another, who also believes themselves to be one of my loved ones. (Alert! I know I am trashing the English language!).
So, was it a choice?
Hurt one over the other?
Or, find a way to balance the scales?
I wish I could say the perceived reality was full of that kind of equality of judgment.
It was not.
I had to storm, and stamp my feet, and advise the pleading person, I will not judge, I will not give you back the words you implore upon me to give you what you perceive as salvation, because then I participate in being less than the whole.
Oh, I struggled, because on some level, I worried, that the better thing to do would be to simply supply the words, after all, on some level, wasn’t I cutting off the person pleading from my so enlightened platform.
It is the plight of women!
Do Men do this?