Open Letter to God

Open Letter to God, September 2008, copyright Surface Earth


I have a quick update or two.  Maybe a passing thought or three.

I need to ask you a few questions.

I am a practicing, or semi-practicing Roman Catholic.  I love my Saints, I love Mary, I love Jesus, and I love that I can look at them, see them, sense them, live with them as I pray within the church.  I do.  I really like that, I call it the human quality.

In some of the churches I visit, I see Jesus hanging on the cross.  Nails.  And I shudder at the inhumanity and I wonder, did this occur, this manifestation, to remind us the consequences of judging, of daring to put our mind, our ego in the path of another life?  Was it such a brutal picture for us to endure for centuries, not to make us suffer, but to make us remember, and do better?  Didn’t Pointus Pilate almost make a good decision from his heart?  But then he didn’t follow it, right?  He listened to others.

Ok, I digress, but you know me, it’s my hallmark.

What I’m getting at God is you really could not have wanted us to judge one another right?  Look down on those that choose or are born to a a different sexual path?  Condemn those that need pro-choice?  I can’t believe for an instant if you are the God I feel inside that is your desire.  You can’t want that.

So where do we go?  Technically, I guess that’s it, I showed my hand, I’m out of the church, but to be frank, it’s what I know, and believe me You, I have done tons of exploring, it’s just that, I like it there, but without the condemnation.  I could probably google brotherly love a million times Lord, and I am almost positive, it will never come up with a hit to denigrate good hearted people who simply love the opposite sex of what we have been taught.  I harp on this as a point of clarification, I could substitute in a million different examples, why not love Muslims?  why not love Born Agains?  Why not, why not?  I come from a people that actually made others sit on the back of a bus because their skin was somehow darker than mine.

What sense does this make Lord?

I will always love You, honor You, and pray to you.  I know, you do not ask of me what Society does, to put down others for the sake of an illusion.

Peace to you tonight God.

Surface Earth

My Open Letter to God (Surface Earth: Copyright, 2006)

Dear God,

Dear Jesus,

Dear Lord,



Most respectfully.

I’ve been thinking. I’ve been reading, I’ve been studying, I’ve been questioning, obsessive, unable to sleep, unable to breathe, unable to be, trying to figure you out.

I’ve come to a conclusion, you don’t need to be figured out, do you? (Should that be a capital, like we do for judges, You? Your Honor?)

I’ve run away from Catholicism, into which I was born and bred.

I’ve wandered into the lost land of religions I have never known, having never been born into other sects in other lives, at least not that I remember.

I appreciated the old traditions of Catholicism, but could not understand its limitations. I moved to Buddhism thinking it was the furthest from anything I ever knew. I did not understand a word and felt as if an imposter, because instead of understanding the wisdom and inherent intellect of the Dalai Lama, a man who compelled me to want to hang his photograph on my walls for the mere wattage of his smile, I was only able to grasp, again and again, on the words, “loving kindness”.

I moved on to Kabbalah eventually, but first stepped back again into Catholicism. The virtual problem always encountered was my feeling of unworthiness. It did not matter that the pews were lined with hypocrites, thieves, corporate marauders, I only felt and saw my own infirmities, the girl who dared to stray from the righteous path. Oh, how little I yet was to know of Catholicism. Yet, there I went again, backing out the door, as the priest called us to disavow our sisters and brothers who were homosexuals, engaged in love without marriage, divorced or were faced with the soul wrenching choice of abortion. Jesus could not have cared, he could not have saved by condemnation.

I tiptoed into Kabbalah, drawn to the promise of mysticism. I learned to apply everyday behavioral modification techniques to teach myself not to judge. I wavered and stammered and tap danced around that one. Well what is judgment I want to know? When does it begin and when is it justified? Never was the response. Never, how could that be? Where would all of my righteous indignation go? Patience prevailed on my mentor and he kept at the same lesson, anger is dangerous and judgment is unnecessary, again and again. I was a slow learner, I had been through some less than fair situations in life, I wanted to place rightful anger somewhere, if only in my head. I don’t know what got me first, the idea of a vast nothingness of light which scared me and threatened my individuality, my someday to be discarded ego. I was too new to development, I did not understand that they had a point, I did not need my ego. I did learn though the tenants of fostering goodness to one another, daily, moment by moment without hesitation and without end.

I began to grasp the concept of oneness but felt diminished by my inability to truly grow. Was it because it had sprung from a different religious and cultural background and I felt the roots and the language without truly comprehending the origin? Had I fallen prey to negative media? No, in retrospect, my lack of knowledge made me feel smaller and smaller, highlighting my mental and spiritual infirmities, giving power to the bully, “you kidding me? You really believe that garbage? Look around you, there is no God.”

My ego’s need to be sane and rational and respected took over my gut and soul instincts. Was I simply not ready, not strong enough to consider myself part of the collective consciousness? I was humbled in the presence of the mere voice of Kabbalah, all forgiving, all knowing and without judgment. I was not yet strong enough.

I returned to Catholicism and loved the familiarity, the things I had grown with, knowing where to sit in the hard pews, sometimes even knowing the right time to kneel. I no longer worried about whether I genuflected at the right or wrong time, at the right or wrong angle, I simply let my heart bow to God, allowing my feelings of non-partisan spirituality and love of God to take over, feelings of grace, my heart simply lead my knee to bend in gratitude.

Trying on clothes in a dressing room with only one door in and out, faced with Fun House mirrors at three walls, disorientation had overcome me.

I began to read Sylvia Brown and bless that woman, my bones tell me she is the real thing. I began to learn that I could apply Kabbalah principles with Christian traditions I had come to love. The more I read and read and read, the more I saw and felt and lived the repetition of the common theme of love. To have love, is to erase the need for all other needs.

The underlying problem in trying out different religions is choosing to give up that which you have known. If I embraced Kabbalah, would I have to shrug off the mantle of the Virgin Mary and Jesus? I couldn’t, no matter how vast the picture and sensation of infinite light, Jesus’ face remained. And Mary, Azna, Mother God, she lived within breath. I know she is real, please don’t ask me how. I don’t care for statistics and sightings and tests and visualizations. Well, sure maybe I do, my point is simply, that I feel her.

I have gone into spiritual demise. I have watched and read about the Lost Gospel of Judas. Of course! Jesus is all knowing. He knew what Judas was or wasn’t, small surprise that we do not; rest assured, we will continue for monetary, economic, political, social, cultural or any other myriad of reasons to insist on the one interpretation of Jesus. For Pete’s sake, we can’t even remember our own dreams or what we ate for breakfast. Was Judas bad? Nah. Of course not. Why would Jesus choose him to carry out his fate? Did he tell Jesus, “thy will be done”? Jesus could not be tricked or betrayed, that is simply beneath him.

I have invited my arch angels and my spirit guides to come into our home when one of our daughters was facing inexplainable fatigue and headaches. Lights went on an off at different times in our home, certainly not in keeping with a power surge. The television surged and pulsed and practically danced. I asked them kindly to please enter more slowly in a way that would stop scaring me half to death as it wasn’t my time yet. I think they agreed. They are more subtle these last few days. Leaves that blow around the sidewalk out of nowhere, making a staccato beat, drawing my attention and then bowing and dancing. Pure artistry.

There are those that have contributed to the falsity of faith healing. It is unknown why people are compelled. I don’t question the participants that are impoverished, that perhaps received a sandwich, a promise of a bag of rice, a moment of peace before infidels or legitimate governments invaded their families, but how about the one that orchestrates it? Are they any different than a politician? A lawyer? A doctor that has lost heart? A teacher who does not teach? A parent who does not love?

Your truth echoes in the most simple of ways, the warmth that radiates though my bones causing my hands to become upturned to receive grace. It is that simple.

I have no problem, any longer, I can’t say that was always true, but I have no problem any longer not blaming you for what happens to us Lord. False persecution, so what? I should be insulted? We do it to each other everyday. “She cut me off, what a horrible person.” How do I know she was not rushing to the hospital to see a relative who unexpectedly encountered medical emergency? Is there truly any difference? Either one is character assignation and judgment without proof.

Am I religious?

I don’t know.

Do I believe in you?


I believe in You/you, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Mary. I believe there are saints. I believe there are angels. I believe there is evil, that sometimes there can be no other rational explanation, but I believe evil is our inability to discover our souls.

The sickness of the false messiahs brings bad publicity to you, to Jesus.

There are miracles, there are the unexplainable moments and times that are pure miracles, leaps of faith. Why do people claim that power when its only source has ever been and could only be you? Didn’t you tell us everything is there for our taking, we must only see? Electricity was discovered, not invented, right God?

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t know anymore than the next person, but I hold certain things to be true. If you say one thing and do another you are hypocritical. If you are aware of it and don’t own up to it, you are a coward. If you gossip, you cause bad air to fly and it will come back to you, and yes, the smallest utterances are gossip. If you speak to satisfy your ego, you will receive less than you desired because you have already lost your state of grace.

How do we sit together in loving Christian kindness and denounce “others”, who, more often than not, are closer to God whether they believe in him or not, simply in acts of kindness and their reliability of spirit?


God, I’m back, I don’t know if I am just chatter in your head or if my voice sings with others.

A bluebird landed in my tree.

He sat high above the purple flowers

Which grew and grew


Although I didn’t even know their name

It did not stop the trees or the flowers from growing


A tulip grew out from behind the

Red dirty rock

Next to the untended cement sidewalk

And a tulip sought to make its presence known

Next to the bend

Of that same untended sidewalk

I tried to unearth it with a shovel

Before the purple of the tulip


The ground would not give


The trees are spreading

Their limbs across the gray

Of today’s sky

Purple, red and pink strewn together

They will not last the storm

Yet they have never been

More exuberant

Than set against the

Mist and the closed sky


My child


“Oh My God”

Not in praise

But in exasperation with my

Confused new to almost middle age ways

I continued breathing


I saw on television

An almost tall white man

Performing miracles



You did not star in that show


I held an egg today

Cracked it

To take out the yolk

Because I can’t bear to eat

Someone else’s young

Who was the first to know

That to take the egg from the mother

Would give complete protein

And not kill her

Who decided

The egg was not an egg

When South Dakota says it is?


In your infinite wisdom

Did you leave us a travel guide?

The best spots

The best words

The best reactions?

Were they rated in stars?

Have you had overzealous editors so now

Your words are no longer yours?

Thoughts on living

Living thoughts

Dear Lord,

I pray today,

Because of you.

Today I missed Mass God.

I awoke at 8:30 a.m. – quite late for me on a Sunday morning. I wanted to go to mass. I felt quite desolate that it had been two weeks since. I awoke as the rest of the house slept, ran out for the Sunday papers, stole a moment to read and drink coffee and left my beautiful family asleep.

I arrived at church and saw next to no cars. The people I saw look accomplished upon leaving. Wait, wait, I thought, I am unfinished, I have just arrived.

I hurried in the door, stopping to glance at the greeting table, a lovely polished wood that seemed to hold all I would need to know to be a practicing Catholic in this town.

The lovely newness of this church, the beginning of the mass, to walk though this room of grace and openness and splendor with just one table with papers, and newsletters and charts upon which to fill your name—if you are lost, we can find you, it seemed to say. So I believed.

I walked to that table, because I had seen it before.

I was no longer worried if I dipped my hand too soon into the Holy water, if I genuflected before I should or at the wrong angle, and that thing everyone seemed to know how to do in their sleep, that three point wonder, the thumb dancing across their forehead, their middle face and their heart? I no longer worried if I did it right. “Peace be with you.” “And also with you,” I said from my heart, with my hands turned up to God with arms outstretched.

I still did wonder sometimes though how I was never taught that three point wonder. How could I have missed it all of those years? Sure, I didn’t go to parochial school daily but I attended Catechism classes, I took the nuns seriously even as I walked along the rock wall outside of St. Anthony’s afraid they would see me, the sinners’ child, the divorced one.

How could it be, all those Saturday evenings at St. Brendan’s, mandatory Saturday evening mass with dinner at Howard Johnson’s afterward, my grandfather singing Louis Armstrong so I didn’t know where the jukebox began and his voice ended? My grandmother daring to order dessert after picking through cottage cheese and fruit for dinner, taking 45 minutes longer than the rest of us to finish her meal? My brother and I climbing in and out and over and under the table, and my grandmother sitting there, unperturbed, seeing only her little world. How could that be?

Because we see what we see Lord,

What we choose to see.

None of us are right or wrong.

I simply went to Mass to tune in to you.


Did you know I started to go to healing masses? Yes, I felt much like my debacle mass after mass with the three point gesture and became further indignant that no one ever taught me how to pray the rosary. Thank you for letting us discover the Internet, where I looked for remedial Catholicism courses.

Yes. I went to healing masses. Yes, I watched the news. I know the media was not supporting miracles, but listen, I saw them for myself, ok? The sweet surrender to the Holy Spirit, coming back from the ground lying prone, the flood of tears after a blessing, the tears uncontrollable for ten or fifteen minutes. Did you know Lord, it was only after the Mass that I learned of Padre Pio and the flood of tears? All the priest said to me is “let you be flooded with happiness”, and I cried and cried, my right arm shaking, unable to wipe away or stop the tears. I knew then Lord, I knew to stop fighting the miracle of you, despite the fact of not being surrounded by anyone who believes. The more I thought God, the more I knew, I never should have needed the flood of tears, I should have just seen the less than loving actions of my contemporaries to know there must be something higher.

I still missed mass that day Lord and have not returned regularly since then because you live in me, I don’t mind joining in, but I won’t condemn in prayer. Did you make me forget to turn the clocks?

I woke up flat God.

I woke up uneven.

Doesn’t make sense does it? How can I be flat and uneven at the same time? Did you know it was heresy to state that the world was round? That’s what we are when we are even, Lord, we are round, circular, without beginning or end.

Today I stayed quiet through my flatness. I didn’t take it out on anyone. It was a big day for me.

Did you ever jam to music? Let your arms fly about and get lost and by getting lost get found? I know, they say you are Light. They say you are all encompassing and can be nothing and everything at once, but by being everything you also become nothing as we know it.

I think though Lord, that you might be dancing, your face turned toward the light, and not just only the light itself. I hope I get no hate mail from saying this, but I believe you sing and dance, and I think your voice might be slightly off-key.


My mind shifted to the right

At first I thought

That I was lightheaded

Sugar balance off

I blended with the air

There was no distinction

Not gray against white against green

Not blue against the yellow of the sun

My mind shifted to the right

I felt the quiet pleasure of

Pushing that space away

I wondered and worried

Not knowing what it meant

Then today

I stood there n the kitchen

The coolness of the counter against my hand

My mind shifted to the right

Making room

If I smelled the lilac

In the hall

And no one was there

Would I be wrong?

If I dreamed of a big open book

With golden edging

A dove flying from its middle

Tendrils of ivy from its beak

Mid air

Would I be wrong?


Good evening God.

I feel like sometimes I need a sabbatical from my brain. I don’t feel that way right now, well, not entirely, but I would like a sabbatical for the blocks I have put in my mind that keep me from seeing how to grow.

How to devote my life to writing, creativity, art, the continued search and study of spirituality, gardening, playing with the kids, quiet meals with my family, simply loving my husband.

It’s as if I spent this earthly life with a purpose of building fences to keep myself from expanding from my soul. And on top of that choose to be a litigation attorney, joke is on me, right?


I live in the abyss of heavens

In the valleys on earth

Striving for the moments

Of existence

Yet uncounted

I sit in a crowd

Of those who judge and ferment

And never do I hear the word “God”

I scratch my head and wonder

Why I don’t have the answers

When I was raised to have the answers

To not

Was to be defenseless

I scratch upon the table

The numbers

The figures

To tell me

Who is cheating whom

I smile

Because there is no sense in frowning

Jesus loved all

Who am I

To love less?

Asking for a sign

Receiving one after another

I share and am met with disbelief

M grandfather standing in the parking lot

Of the local foodstore

Watching me pull out of my parking space

But waiting first

To make sure

The elderly couple next to me

Were done

Were safe

He stood there

I thought scowling at first

Preconceiving me to be

A young whippersnapper

And then

He pushed down his cap

Hooked his index finger

To his thumb

It’s ok, kiddo

He said


Ten years gone from this earth

I stopped

Then started

A smile

A nod

Letting him go.

I have tried

To take care of those

He left behind

I have, haven’t I?

Haven’t I tried?


Didn’t I try

Can you read me?


Why don’t I talk to you? Wouldn’t it make more sense? Why do I send you a letter? Am I really that worried that too many others are begging at the same time?

We humans are like ants scurrying for the hills, knowing the big human feet are above us and can stamp us out for no reason at all, but continuing our predictable patterns to the end.

Where do we begin and end Lord?

Is it with the talking animals? Do we save those we respect and slaughter the others? Even if that means expanding the definition of our fellow brothers and sister?

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it, no one has given us the text book of the earth, and if they have, we’ve borrowed and copied and altered and destroyed and have left only those pages that suit us.

How can I sit in my lush home on a Sunday morning and see a young girl in Dafur, a photograph in time spread against my kitchen table, of a young girl raped? How can I possibly go on with my day when a child, only one, has been shot in the foot by those same rapists, tattooing her for the fate ahead? How can I possibly bear my own privileged existence?

* *

Dear Lord:

There must be answers somewhere. I’m simply not clever or learned enough to find them, but I know they are here.

All my life, all I have ever wanted to do is write, primarily, to get people to understand humanity, that we are all one. That there is no beginning and no end and what you do to my brother or sister, you do to me. Lines of politics, sex, national origin, religion, are simply just excuses for us not to help one another.

Did you know this is my land Lord? The land stolen is now ours? The one they want to build walls around so starving children can remain starving? Who is wrong Lord? Us or them? Or me for even fashioning a question that includes an us and them?

Can I ever wirte Lord without worrying that what I write is not worthy? Or what I write will not be misconstrued, pulled into something that was never intended? A plaything for my unintended audience? Do I dare to be silent the rest of the years You have given me here? Is that my lesson? To shut up and be quiet and hide in the face of so much atrocity? To suffer it, a self inflicted martyr? Or a willing accomplice?

Many of the ones who seek to do justice in this world dispense judgment, right or wrong, without regard to the injustice they hand out, is that right Lord? Does one balance the other? I know it doesn’t but I watch the news and no one cares, even me, as I stop at the food store stocking up for my family and my family alone.

At any rate Lord, you know me, right down to the center of my soul, far removed from my heart, lower, deeper, higher, more shallow, everywhere and nowhere. Simply almost undetectable here on earth-you know what I’m about. You know I’d love more guidance, a simple how-to book to make the world better, but heck, I’m 39, in earthly standards, I’ve been waiting awhile and it’s not here. Help me Lord. Just give me a list. Tell me how to stop the hurting.


God is here. God is here. God is here.

Allow him to use you.

Without those words, myself and many like me would be lost. How do you meander through a day? How do you forget the grace of each miracle that gives you a day?

God has spoken and he has said that you should love and show forgiving kindness.

This same statement echoes throughout the majority of all religions, why then, are we so lost? What is there to figure out? Forgive and forget. Continue to love. Leave anger at the door. It never means that we go back for more abuse, nor does it mean that we gossip or cause harm to others, no matter what they may have done to us. We move on, in loving kindness.

Dear Lord:

Has there been a moment when you have simply shaken your head? Forgotten where you are in the script, where the director left off and the actors took over? I doubt that. Free will. Really, just two words, but oh so powerful. They give us both ownership and liability, the two never to be divorced.

I have seen you and felt you, both in the moments when people watch and what they don’t. As cool as it is Lord to say I love you, people still look askance and wonder if someone loving Jesus is just a freak who doesn’t have a job.

Can you help us?


Hi God. I woke up again today. It’s a lovely day. Thank you.

PS: I invite you all to visit our commercial site, , where we share our space on the web with creative thinkers across the surface of the earth.

49 thoughts on “Open Letter to God

  1. This is very interesting. I can really relate….I’m a “recovering catholic”. I did the whole….try to find a religion that “fit” thing too. I believe in my heart that God has nothing to do with religion. I believe religion has it’s place in the world and works for a lot of people….but in many ways it is an exploitation of god….what I mean is….No one religion can know for sure that their belief is the right one….but they will go to the ends of the earth to prove that it is. In this way I think religion can be problematic.

    I wonder if it really was the true intention of God, to have us all segregate ourselves into different religions anyway? This segregation has only caused people to hate and judge….would God have wanted that? Would God think it is justified to kill, as long as it is in His name? I just don’t think so. I really think that God must be looking down on us and shaking his head…..thinking; “How could they have gotten it so wrong?”

    I do think we are suppose to question, and we are suppose to look for the answers as they relate to religion, God, faith, and the Bible, (and where we fit in)……I just don’t think we are meant to find the answers, and I think that that’s OK.

  2. Catherine:

    Your part of the post:

    but in many ways it is an exploitation of god….what I mean is….No one religion can know for sure that their belief is the right one….but they will go to the ends of the earth to prove that it is. In this way I think religion can be problematic.

    I wonder if it really was the true intention of God, to have us all segregate ourselves into different religions anyway? This segregation has only caused people to hate and judge….would God have wanted that? Would God think it is justified to kill, as long as it is in His name? I just don’t think so. I really think that God must be looking down on us and shaking his head…..thinking; “How could they have gotten it so wrong?”

    That is it, that is what I wonder too. Why can’t it be enough? Have humans always been so fearful that it is vital to oppress?

  3. If I may share my opinion with you, one who is formless.

    I have found that finding the answer one has been looking for or reaffirming one’s beliefs is not the end of one’s search.

    Once the question is answered, what now?

    I have really appreciated reading your conversation with your SELF.

    I believe everyones journey is different, but in the end, it all lead to the same place.

    I wish to share with you a part of my incomplete journey. Please do not take this the wrong way for I do not have any intentions of pushing any views on you. I only wish to share with you while we are in the moment where our journey/path cross. I have felt you have shared something with I. Nobody….

    Something/Someone that helped me, and believe it can help anyone, if they wanted to.

    “Be Here Now” by: richard alpert

    It does not teach you anything, just shows you what you already knew.

    See you in the end, or is it the begining?

  4. Interesting response Talking2Mirrors. Thank you.

    I haven’t read that book and do look forward, having read a smattering of others on the existence of now as the only existence.

    Let me ask: why did you capitalize SELF?

  5. I capitialized SELF because I wanted to be clear with my words. I felt that you were talking to yourself, your innerself. You seem to be very honest to yourSELF, which is the thing I really appreciate and can relate to.
    I guess the reason I use SELF is because I didn’t think( respectfully, only my opinion, not right or wrong) the god you were talking to was a being outside yourself, a being that is of seperate entity. I believe god is in you…. and when you see yourself in the purest light, honest to yourself, you are talking to god.

    I use the word god, reluctantly, for the lack of better term.

    I share with you something I believe and I am greatful for you even giving the time of day. I do not know anything, I believe that I do not any truth that is absolute for everyone.
    I feel like I share this with you and other people because I want to reach out, and maybe help people, that is my nature. But,
    Somehow I cant help but feel that my ego had something to do with this also, unconsciously.
    I know because I cared what you thought of my thoughts. I should be unaffected by your thoughts because what I have shared is true and whether you responded or not should not matter.
    I am ashame of my self in that light, and as I am writing this, I realized that you have Helped me.
    When truth is felt, there is not a care in the world.

    I appologize for the dragging on of my nonsense. I am working on myself through this. Thanks for being patient.


  6. Ah, thank you for your response. I did think you wrote SELF because you felt that I was talking to myself.

    You have caused me to stop and think, quite a bit in fact. I too believe God is within us, I’m just not sure that cancels out God outside of us.

    How humble your response, could not all my words too be ego? I think so. Does that mean if I achieved success in divorcing myself from the ego I would have nothing left to say? Difficult. I too believe like you, when truth is felt, there is not a care in the world. It is steps to bring yourself from the “truth”/perceptions of others making your truth to the learned truth of yourself. In that is the moment by moment reminder of the now.

  7. Some how I felt I had a feeling that you would respond to my thoughts exactly the way you have. Both in content and your attitude. I respect your views. I really like a lot of the things you have writen about, Some i relate to and some I do not. We are all on different levels on our journey. (levels not in one is better than another, comparisons cannot be made) I believe we can learn a lot from one another, not only you and I but the rest of the world.

    As to your what you were thinking:
    ~I too believe God is within us, I’m just not sure that cancels out God outside of us.~

    again, for lack of a better word, god is inside of us and is outside of us, god is everything and everywhere. Although i was caught up in thinking god is inside. I was aware of the totality of godness, but was caught up in my own views that i neglected to consider it.

    ~How humble your response, could not all my words too be ego? I think so. Does that mean if I achieved success in divorcing myself from the ego I would have nothing left to say?~

    I appreciate your sincerity with me and yourself in acknowledging that your words could too be from ego. That is why we should try to always be mindful, something I find hard to do everyday. If you or I achieve in ridding the ego, we would be in silence. You would have nothing to prove to anyone, and would be content in all that you are and all that you are being. The hard thing about trying to be silence then is not because of the ego, but rather by compassion.

    Thank you for sharing, and allowing me to share.

    A teacher once told me, ” we are exactly where we are suppose to be .”

  8. Food for thought, excuse the cliche, but I find sometimes cliches are in themselves reason for being so defined:

    The hard thing about trying to be silence then is not because of the ego, but rather by compassion.

    We, again, are still thinking about this last thought.

  9. Hello Surface Earth- Since you are clearly sincere and extensive in your pursuit of answers… sincerely inquiring what God has to say, I must tell you that you have missed a couple of very clear and lofty and beautiful and moving books which God has presented for people ever
    ywhere. “Conversations with God” is a transcript of Neale D Walsch’s verbatum talks with God. I have no reasnable doubt about this at all. “A Course in Miracles” is a transcription of Helen Schucman’s hearing of an exytensive work by Jesus-Christ. This is self-evident to lovers of Jesus- and I do not mean people who have been seduced by churches. You can read about both of these authors ( listeners!) via Google. Please allow yourself to look into these books. ( In the first one, God acknowledges the accre
    the second one. The Neale Walsch books are now numerous, and so many of us have a new and true crack at life, which, to be sure, is the least that God wishes us!!!
    I can’t say more than these books. Please- you have worked so hard to date. Give your heart a rest, and your mind too- and let God smile upon you through His gifts to each and everyone of us! God is not only within- God is All, and I and you are parts Thereof!
    My sincere wishes that you finally gain the directions and relief you , as God’s own, deserve!!!
    Dave Wilson

  10. I apologize for the typos in my previous letter, Surfae Earth. I see it it is easier to use if I use the full screen.
    I just want to add that if we consider that God is God, that ‘He’ hears prayers, I think we should also ask if God might ‘get back to us’! Indeed He has, and in more books,no doubt, than I have mentioned. I have mentioned the two, because I do not doubt their truthfulness and holiness.
    If and when we ‘knock at God’s door’, we are welcomed!

  11. Looks like we lost our own comment to you on The Open Letter to God. And you worried about typos?? LOL.

    We are acquinted with the books you mention and believe the timing of your comment to our post was pretty divine as we never finished either the Course in Miracles or Conversations with God series.

    You are correct, both teach you how to give your heart and mind a break and work from the light/God/the Divine/spirit/etc.

    I appreciate your well thought out comments and again thank you for the timely reminder!

  12. Hello Surface-Earth, again. It seems that I aas othrs, often imagine that someone might simple switch their ways of thinking to our own,because the references we give are so ‘perfect’ One person’s good ideas, or truths, may not may not seem so, to another. But, inasmuch as you were writing to God, I simply have to refer you to what has been, for me and many others, God’s responses!
    Thanks for your reply, S-E. I hope you will allow for the very significant possibility that these books actually do come from the One your open letter addresses.
    It isa brilliant thing you have done, btw, to write an open letter to God. Such things do NOT go unnoticed by God, tobe sure!

  13. Dave:

    Again, thank you.

    Carried one of Mr. Walsh’s books around today and resumed Course in Miracles yesterday.

    Interesting your self-revealing viewpoints in the first part of your latest post. Appreciate that you know that answers, while good for some, are not yet good for all.

    There is a simplicity, once you get past the foreigness of the teachings in the Course in Miracles, which simply makes sense on a very basic level. It also advocates nothing but being true to each other.

    Appreciate your feedback. Check out one of our latest posts, entitled, Get Out of the Box, on our blogroll section, we borrowed your comment to highlight Humanity’s Team as yet one more creative, soul-felt endeavor to change the world.


  14. I am a protestant believer. As such, I believe that were born into sin and are not born with God in us. God sent Jesus to die for us on the cross. It is only through him that we are saved. Without him we are lost. The Bible says that ‘For God so loved the world, that he gae his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life’. There is no purgatory mentioned in the bible, only heaven and hell. As catholics , it is essential to WORK your way into heaven. But, it is by GRACE that we are saved. It is the gift of God, freely given to those who would receive. Those who do not receive this gift, who are not ‘born again’ and made new through Jesus are sadly, still on their way to hell. Godbless all of you with the real truth. Which is not all this ‘talking to self’ stuff, and God within us, and talking to spirit guides (which are actually demons). Do not be deceived. Satan can come as an angel of light.

  15. Jenna:

    Thank you for posting a comment. As you can see, here at Surface Earth, we believe and explore the dimensions of humanity.

    I can appreciate your view and beliefs and am sure there will be more than one reader out there that wish they had commented as you did.


  16. Pingback: Letter to God, continued, part two « Surface Earth: expansion of humanity via the virtual earth

  17. I have a question.

    If God is ALL, then Whom ELSE are we suppose to be?

    Maybe what is being called ‘ego’ by many, is the part that wants to argue that each of us has a seperate identity divorced from the main one? Like facets disconnected from a diamond.

    There’s an insiduous little subversive belief most of us have lurking around in our subconsicous. It’s a belief that makes claims of Greatness repulsive.

    Simply because it is assumed that with greatness coming being ‘greater then’.

    But what about being Great and there being no greater or lessor then?

    Because then we’re great and so is everybody else!

    I can only give as good as I got.

    I can only love & value others as I love and value myself.

    The word ‘sacrifice’ comes from latin. Sacre, meaning sacred. Facere, meaning to make. To make sacred. To uplift. There is no loss implied.

    Uplifting ‘ego’ and negating ‘ego’ are different. They create different results. One results in Self-less-ness. The other results in Self-more-ness.

  18. Sue Ann!

    “If God is ALL, then Whom ELSE are we suppose to be?”

    Well, you have stumped dear heart. I know not what to say.

    Rather, I feel, I need to mull this over, let it sit soggy in the bowl.

  19. Dear writers of Surface Earth,

    You guys really are [%$#^] up. If you honestly think I’m so inconsistent, emotional, and ridiculous as the authors of the Old Testament, Tripitaka, Qu’ran, and “The Secret” make me out to be I really overestimated you. This is the one time I’m going to tell you: yes, I might’ve created the universe (you can never know for sure: believe me), but I’m strictly non-interventionalist. I swear I haven’t done a single thing besides speed up the invention of roller blades and pong. All the silliness you attribute to me is nothing less than some group think, gullibility, and self-hypnotism. Yeah, I guess at the end of the day it’s my fault that I gave you instincts suitable only for perpetuating your existences without much foresight into what you might develop into in the future (the whole sweet tooth thing… the impressionability of children… etc.) but I also gave you logic and reason. I suggest you use them more effectively.

    Faithfully yours,
    The One True God™

    P.S. – The whole faith thing was a joke, seriously stop it.

    (offensive/foul language removed by S.E. Editor)

  20. Pingback: The Almighty a/k/a The One True God « Surface Earth: expansion of humanity via the virtual earth

  21. Dear God! I did abortion 3 years ago. I was 20 at that time. Now I am 23. I want a child so bad. I don’t have a man who would give me a child. And sometimes I even think that I don’t need a husband that it is ok if I don’t have a husband but I need a child. I am really sorry about what I have done with my child. If only I could know that it is tooo hard to find a man and how hard it is to have all the events together to have a child. So many peoples don’t have children! So moany people don’t understand that a healthy, happy baby is the best miracle in the world! I really want a baby. Please God give me children. And if my children will have a father I will be even 100 times happier. And God please don’t let my children suffer from what I have done. It is all my fault and I am really sorry about it.
    I love my parents and relatives so much. Please God give them all health. And thatnk you dear God for everything you do for people.

  22. Olga:

    You evidently are a brave and loving soul.

    We always pray to God to deliver what is in the best part of our hearts.

    We will add our prayers that he answers yours.

    You have a long time ahead, go with it, and keep believing.



  23. Look for the truth and ye will find me



    Look around you

    Look not within

    Look at what is

    Look at what is

    Look at the Truth

    The real Truth

    Throw away all that is not

    All that is mystic

    All that is prophetic and fallacy

    Wisps of air so sweet the smell that you would engulf it deep within your lungs and feel its evil juices like a drug of the gods and call it god itself – to feel the power of creation within you is to experience is to be the waking concious of god.

    Here we sit in the midst of infinity where anything imagined within our grasp and the ends of which are “bounded only by our imagination” It is here within this incredibility that we come up with the most infintisimal of all probabilities by throwing mental regurgitation back into our own face of god from which we see and exist.

    The Incredibility!

    The Incredibility!

    Here we sit in the mantel of infinity – where our existance measured in time against the backdrop of what is known is so infitesimly small so as to not measure. Where our physical existance so incredibly small to the universe as to not exist at all.

    Stop and look and listen

    Take all away that is not what is

    Take away the walls

    the sink the floor

    The clothes take it all away

    everything around us is either plant or dirt

    the car you drive is dirt

    we have taken dirt cooked it Molded it and we are driving it around over 100 miles per our while sitting perfectly freeking still

    Take away all that is untrue

    take away the born teachings

    The mystical stories of miracles

    For just a day trake it all away and look at the


    What is TRUE

    Our collective conciousness has over the years left a lasting legacy on our minds and in the very spirit of mankind

    Before man had fire he had death

    before man had anything he had death

    Even a dog misses its mate when it passes

    It forever feels sorrow and misses his mate

    We have religion, we have faith, we have given ourselves something to hold onto

    Many many years ago man knew he would die

    It is a certainty that we all know and death certaintly gives rise…..

    its gives rise to gods





    We sit in the cradle of infinity

    We sit here with all be possible

    Look for the truth and ye will find me

    You ask, I ask , We all ask and we get answers of faith ansers of beleif answers of absolute knowledge of the existance of god beyond question –


    How can that be true – look for the truth and ye will find me you have to ge through all of the clutter and self riteousness


    what if?

    what if all that man has made up is just that – made up?

    What if the story of Jesus is no more true than King Arthur and the Knights of the Round table?


    is it possible?

  24. What if, “h”, what if indeed?

    I have spent the majority of my life deconstructing belief.

    I have crossed a line though, I no longer deconstruct. To me it is no longer, what if or what if not, it is, “because it is”.

    Blessings to you.

  25. Only truth, what is, is and what is not is influenced as so is blessed and held in tradition as so but not true and not truthful and misleads and misguides all of mankind

    You to come to the conclusion

    we are

    harmony in the midst of choas

    In all that is

    greatness of that which because of it chaos cannot begin to be, and cannot begin to be measured

    We are individual

    we are harmony

    we are measurable

    we are witness

    we exist

    exist in the midst of chaos

    even for a trillion years but a granule in its entirety which is

    and yet we define it and point to our own importance and even infalability. we are and infinitesimly non existant dot on the face of god. We bare witness, the conciousness of what is.

    we are not its totality

    we are one in with it and seperate and concious of it in the midst of infinity.

    In infinity all that can exist

    and so we are

    all is lord

    all of it

    and that is it – that is truth – there is nothing more

    all that is, is lord

    To witness and of it in our existance is not licence to the gates of hell or heaven, it just is.

    We are like silly madmen throwing ourselves to eternal damnation ravaging the world with hatred death and destruction – All of us you, I, them.

    We are sold the candles of religion as children and watch its anihilation of our existance as we grow old, powerless to its draws and promises of love hope and peace in death to be seated with the father.

    Its poetry runs ramshod through our brains as we follow it like a fly on coke. The promise of eternity and the way written by the hand of man only to bring us to the brink of planetary destruction with the promise of the second coming. And still we believe – junkies

    You have to ask not what if, but that it so. It has been taught since the beginning of man by man for man, a heartwarming story to calm our scared our weak and our weary – turned through the ages to the greatest story ever told. That all of mankind could live by – and die by. That some day we would all go and all that was unfair and unjust would be corrected. We only need fail. We only need believe we had this power and now actually have the power to off ourselves seemingly in many a manner. We are a collective trainwreck waiting to happen so that we may be saved….

    Then I promise you eternal salvation with me

    Isnt it just a little curious….

    the second coming of any prophet or savior as if time or our existance in this incredibly, unimanginable

    I believe that Jesus Christ is my one and only savior in my heart with all my heart but that doth not make it true – I must look deep into this that is

    only the truth – look for it and it all is amazingly clear and all the supernatural so ….

    to be in the midst of all that is

    all that is in all its greatness of which I am part you are part we all are part

    It is so incredulously majestic and infinite

    and yet there must be more? – certainly this isnt it certainly there is heaven and god and more

    we are IN infinity. All that is, is here. Everything and more

    I fear the societal inclination towards eternal self destruction – we fail in our instict that is to survive and prosper and to our destiny to bear witness to all that is. We are overpowered in faith and of the notion in eternal damnation.

    We have but two choices, life or death in these i choose life. My truth reveals religion to paradoxily choose death and my truth reveals eternal damnation to us.

    In the hand of man lie evil. Mans greatness in the wicked madness we have created yells it.

    the horrific butchery of millions while the evil lie relaxed in the hand of man. To go in some gods name to punish those who would stand against as if millions butchered represented some other gods people??????? Time and again in history it repeats and forests are cleared to crucify the damned

    Awaken you the eyes of truth – you allow the story of my claus go to the death of children by his name. See the destruction of man for it is real

    Religion is the seed that grows the blood of war whose Ultimate scenario is complete annialation and the promise of the second coming or any coming.

    I am but a crazy fool in the midst of love, hope and peace…. I am folly, I am benign but it is my lifes minds burden. I cry for us as we walk with the one who is common to all, across all nations and religions – armageddon. It is not lord it is not truth – bear witness to the truth that is. Life is our minds eye – through life we bear witness and bring about the conciousness of what is. Love what is real, look for the future on what is – not what it portends to be after it is gone. We must leave our childish ways.


  26. You know I write this huge darn piece and was hopeful you would comment – my previous post Aug 2 – It is not a religious rant, but it is a rant – would love to hear your insight ….

  27. H:

    My apologies. I did read this before, I came away with an impression of passion and much to absorb.

    I cannot argue with anything you say.

    To me, it resolves itself into a simple phrase:

    We are nothing if not all.

    Not sure where I got that from, I can say it differently:

    Nothing from nothing is still nothing, in order for there to have ever been something, there must always have been something.


    I am you,
    but I am not you,
    yet in not being you,
    I don’t remain me.

    I could go on and on, but I find it comes back to so few things doesn’t it?

    We either believe or would that be accept, that at the same moment we are ourself, we are also all things, that even the divisible is universal.

    This is a tough tough subject, not unlike what I attempted to post about last evening, my newest post, that is incomplete.

    It is being the vessel and yet being the universe.

    I’m not sure how much I care what is true about theology or religion. I care more about the universal heart and how we manage to cut off our senses to the suffering of others and how we don’t rise up and change the status quo.

    Peace to you. Thank you for getting the wheels turning.


  28. We are nothing if not all – very well put indeed

    Thank you for your response \

    I am sure that I care about what is true about theology and religion.

    How can anyone disagree with that which promises eternal life until you see that it is from the hand of man and the only thing that which is evil.

    Does that not concern you that eternal life is promised in death – that which is eternal damnation in fact but eternal life in faith.

    This is what concerns me haunts me every day

    it is in our total destruction that we will come to see the face of God? – this promise is a promise of hopelessness, death, poverty, destruction and total inihilation. These falsehoods are the seeds of our destruction the very seeds that grow the basillicas in Rome while they starve in ethiopia.

    The death of millions is but a small sacrifice in the glory of god?

    Peoples being controlled by religious authority no matter what the extent is dangerous – very dangerous. It consumes the heart and controls the mind.

    The true testimate to man is his survival and right now the devil is winning and he lives in the book – think about it – what is the one book accepted by all christians that if such a claim were levied might cost someone his life – where would you lie if you were to be the devil himself – remember the devil is man made. I say he lurks in the promise of salvation – it is the devils lure to mankind and to man’s ultimate demise.

  29. H:

    No day is a good day, when any suffers for either the good or the ego or the glory of another. Because it cannot be so.

    I think each day, how do I live in a world where children are enslaved?

    I know we have so many layers of a lack of divinity, I start only at the bottom, the most pure and basic, the children, even though, as we grow, we too are children.

    There is no good and pure answer that I am aware of…I only know, the building blocks of life, what we teach from the cradle, must start differently. Forget math, let’s teach universal kindness. Forget science projects, let’s teach that each child/each family has a 1,000 foot radius to check and help those around them.

    We should live in a world where no one is enslaved and no one are prisoners, because we have learned better, we have learned to imitate and live kindness from the word go. And we live it, not only for ourselves, but for every breathing being in our world.

    I believe not in any “true” word, there can never be the chosen and the unchosen, not if we live by love.

    Peace to you.

  30. Pingback: Open Letter to God « Surface Earth

  31. How simply and beautifully worded. How can any of us judge others and still say we’ve learned the lessons of the past? How can this be what God wants of us, to label and condemn or ridicule or revile or intentionally minimize others God also created? Where is the love indeed.

    As in the beginning, I am drown to your spirit and beautiful questioning mind.


    Ronnie Ann

  32. Beautiful update to the Open Letter. How do we not judge those who judge? How do we not judge those who condemn? Forgive them Father for they know not what they do? I strive each day to find ways to communicate with extremly judgemental individuals, sometimes cruel individuals; it is not an easy task for me. Should I simply stay in my own little world; whatever will be will be? Or should I continue the battle of trying to understand, comprehend, communciate? Namaste dear SA. PLL, CordieB.

  33. Ronnie: So happy you have posted! I remember when we first discussed the original Open Letter to God! And yes, I know you meant “drawn” and not “drown”! I agree with you, how can we say we have “learned” when we continue to exercise judgment?

    Cordie! I can almost feel the heavy energy you describe. So hard to figure out what to do, how to handle judgment so pervasive and in our faces. And then to realize we are judging the ones we perceive to judge…it’s enough to make you just want to go to sleep. The only thing I have figured out is truly to breath, to imagine surrounding yourself with light and breathing it toward whoever is being cruel, with a prayer that they will be touched and healed.

    Sorrow: The explanation I can give is that my heart does not believe in religion, or those that preach religion, in the name of God or Jesus, and condemn, judge, belittle good hearted people because those good hearted people do not fit into a proper box. I find it mystifying that God and Jesus are used in ways to put down others, when they are pure love and light.

  34. Sibyllae:

    So glad you stopped in…Sorrow’s place is enchanting isn’t it?

    Courage is a funny thing, you never recognize for what it is when within it.

    Peace to you. Looking forward to visiting your piece of the Web.

    Surface Earth

  35. Sylvia Browne the Psychic confuses me. She said that there is no hell, no devil and Jesus lived up to 80 yrs. old with Mary Magdalene and have children. She talked about Azna (Mother God). Never heard of Azna till I read her books.

  36. Susanne:

    Ah, if only i had the answers. I like the expansion of thought, what we do with it after that, is anyone’s guess.

    I believe there are worlds beyond us, but for our, perhaps stubborness, we could coalesce.


  37. Pingback: Open Letter to God « Surface Earth

  38. Pingback: The Almighty a/k/a The One True God « Surface Earth

  39. Pingback: Letter to God, continued, part two « Surface Earth

  40. Pingback: Get Out of the Box! « Surface Earth

  41. Every day I walk in the garden and it is beautiful
    Every day I am thankful for its grace
    Every day I have a choice
    I can eat from the forbidden Fruit from the tree of knowledge (Gods will) or to not eat the forbidden Fruit
    I choose not

    In all the universe only one is evil
    In all the universe only one eats of the forbidden fruit daily

    I choose not

    I am one within yet seperate
    I am infinite and eternal with that which is infinite and eternal

    – look for the truth and yee will find me. -Turn it up

  42. Dear “h”,

    What a wonderful post/comment. you have transformed us with your words and the garden that you have allowed us too to walk within. Thank you so very much.


  43. Today once again and again as usual I walked with and yet seperate from that which is i am the seed and he is the orange as we are all. Stay in the garden do not eat from the tree of knowledge – the will of god. Do not be cast out. You do not have it own it know it you are nothing in the infinite that is. The will of god is the sword of the devil that decieves us all. We are nothing in the that which is. folly is he to be the center of the infinite that is god – fools us one and all ! Rejoice for you are in the garden that which is heaven for we are here, one with the infinite yet seperate ours is not to amargeddon but to florish and thrive alas the devil is the man that yields this great sword, the tree of knowledge, indeed gods will itself as if god spoke to him and onto the masses to serve his might and governaance might and will the destruction and end to mankind and all its likeness. No man or its likeness has knowledge of the will of +GOD+

  44. I’m not sure exactly why but this website is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check
    back later and see if the problem still exists.

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